Albanians have long attached various symbolic meanings to the ritual of coffee drinking. These served to convey positive or negative messages regarding the nature of relationships, meetings, or specific situations between guests and hosts. What, then, were the messages conveyed by this coffee-serving ritual?
For instance, if a highlander visited a fellow villager—whether a relative or merely an acquaintance—dressed in his formal attire to continue a conversation begun earlier (perhaps during a casual exchange of tobacco), the host would not ask the guest how he preferred his coffee. The discussion might concern an engagement, the resolution of a conflict through blood reconciliation, or other significant matters.
Through the level of sweetness or bitterness of the coffee, the guest would symbolically receive a message regarding the progress of the issue at hand. If the coffee served was very sweet, the guest understood that the matter had been resolved or was proceeding favorably, with no turning back.
To reinforce the meaning of such a positive message, the guest would typically remark—in one way or another—on the excessive sweetness of the coffee, using stock phrases such as: “You seem to have confused the coffee with honey,” “You put honey in the coffee, not sugar,” “You’ve poured a whole jar of honey into the coffee,” and so on.
The host would generally acknowledge such statements—essentially by nodding or smiling. Following this acknowledgment, the guest would speak more optimistically and freely about resolving the matter at hand.
If served medium-sweet coffee, he would understand that the issue of interest remained in limbo; its resolution could not be predicted. To acknowledge this medium-sweet coffee—which signified a stalling of the matter—the guest would speak in almost diplomatic tones:
“I wonder if there is any sugar in your area,” or “Snow has blocked the roads, and no sugar has arrived from the city for ages,” and the like. In such situations, the men of the host party would remain silent.
The guest, who had a specific mission for the conversation, would grasp the message that he needed to be extremely careful in reasoning that he needed to wisely employ his entire arsenal of arguments to steer the matter toward the best possible resolution.
The hosts might serve their guest unsweetened coffee. In such situations, the guest would react in one of two ways. Less frequently, he would reinforce the situation with somewhat diplomatic remarks—such as “The weather has been bad, and goods haven’t arrived from the city,” or “Sugar has been hard to come by,” and so on.
As a rule, the hosts remained silent. In most cases, the bitterness of the coffee required no verbal confirmation. The guest would respond to the hosts’ silence with silence of his own, implying that a negative outcome for the matter at hand was indisputable.
Under such circumstances, the “royal decree” nature of the message—forged by the bitterness of the coffee—became starkly apparent. Consequently, the guest would not even broach the subject for which he was acting as an emissary.
Generally, the guest maintained his composure—or at least appeared to do so—and initiated conversations on other topics: the impact of the weather on seasonal agricultural work, livestock management, or even issues regarding the Russo-Japanese War, among others.
In most cases… The friend took care, during such conversations, to skillfully steer as far away as possible from the very issue in which he had a direct interest.
It is worth noting that the use of the coffee’s bitterness—and other symbolic means—to convey a negative response held special significance in many segments of traditional Albanian society, particularly regarding vital matters affecting the fortunes of individuals, families, or community members. A verbal refusal carried immense weight, bordering on—or amounting to—disregard or insult toward the other party; this affected not only the family and the individual directly touched by the sting of the rejection but also their entire clan.
Coffee at funeral ceremonies and in times of hardship
Furthermore, the degree of sweetness or bitterness of the coffee served at funeral ceremonies in many regions of Albania symbolically conveyed the depth of grief for the deceased, the deceased’s age, and the severity of the distress—whether familial, tribal, or broader—caused by their passing.
If the deceased was elderly and had adult children who were married and financially stable, …sweet coffee was served; if the deceased was middle-aged and had children—some married and some unmarried—medium-sweet coffee was served; and if the deceased was young—leaving behind small children or being unmarried—very bitter coffee, without sugar, was served.
According to beliefs widespread in pre-modern Albanian society, the coffee cup also reflected various elements of a person’s personality, lifestyle, and status and character of the people drinking the coffee.
For instance, if a man drank his coffee hot, superstition held that he was so cowardly he was even afraid of his own wife. Furthermore, according to superstition, if a person drank sweet coffee, they would have a bitter life, whereas drinking bitter coffee signified a happy life.
As a rule, the serving of coffee symbolically marked the conclusion of almost every joyous ceremony, while conveying complex and highly nuanced symbolic messages during funeral rites. Beyond such settings and commercial establishments like cafés and restaurants, coffee was perhaps the only beverage—across a significant portion of Albanian lands—that was also served at cemeteries.
But what message was conveyed by the coffee served at the graveside immediately after the deceased’s burial?
Such coffee—particularly in the northern regions of Albania—served as a symbolic testament that the deceased had fulfilled significant social roles for clan members, fellow villagers, in-laws, and others; in short, that he was a distinguished man. Serving coffee with the left hand—and especially passing it below knee level—was considered a grave insult, particularly to men who had yet to exact blood vengeance for a slain family member or relative.
(Excerpted from Lenses of Symbolic Interaction by Zyhdi Dervishi). Mekulipress.com
